Archive for Editorial

4,781,082 Morons

// November 7th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // Editorial, News

Republican power grab? Maybe. But take a look at this California congressional district map and tell me that the Democratic party in California isn’t mobbed up. Go ahead, click on the map. Notice that these districts curve any which way they want and have nothing to do with city limits or counties.

That’s right, until Proposition 11 was passed, the people drawing up the district boundaries were the ones being elected to those very districts. Of course, this is obvious, because otherwise why would the districts look like a first-grader drew them? (No offense to my daughter.)

Which leads to the question, since the previous system was so corrupt and such a crime against democracy, then who are the 4,781,082 morons who voted against Proposition 11? They can’t all be party-line democrats because nearly ever newspaper in California came out in support of Proposition 11, including the papers that lean far-left. So again, who are you people? Did you just not “get” the concept? Do I need to have my daughter draw a map for you in crayon?

The Chinese Do not Count as People, According to Huffington Post Writer David Bauder

// August 29th, 2008 // 2 Comments » // Editorial

According to extreme liberal slanting Huffinton Post reporter David Bauder, “More people watched Obama speak… on Thursday than watched the Olympics opening ceremony in Beijing.” I guess the Huffington Post doesn’t consider viewers in China to be real people, because 393 million people viewed the 2008 Olympics opening ceremony in China alone, compared with the paltry 40 million viewers of the Obama speech. That’s some fine reporting you’ve got there Ariana.

Polar Icecaps Not Melting, but Moving!

// June 28th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // Editorial

It was reported by The Independant on Friday, 27 June, 2008 that the ice at the North Pole is melting at such a rate that it might be possible to sail directly to the pole during the warmer months. The paper reports this as being the outcome of Global Warming™, and I agree, but not for the same reasons.

While some scientists believe that the earth is warming ever so slightly as a result of mankind’s influence on the environment, others don’t believe mankind is affecting the planet at all, or at least not enough to make a catastrophic impact.

Unfortunately, the Global Warming™ doomsayers are right. Global Warming™ is impacting the planet, in a big way. Just as animals will migrate to the north during the summer months and the elderly will migrate to Florida during the winter, so too has the polar ice been migrating as a result of Global Warming™. Look closely at this diagram provided by the National Environmental Satellite, Data, and Information Service (NESDIS). It shows the sad fact that the thickness of ice in the Northern Hemisphere has been averaging a decline over the last 30 years.

Now the First Law of Thermodynamics states that, “Matter and energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only changed in form.” If this is true, and it is, then that ice must be going somewhere. So, is it being changed in form into water? No, if that were true we would see a rise in the ocean levels that would make Katrina blush. So where has the ice been going? The following diagram shows where that ice has been going, to the South Pole!

While the ice thickness has been shrinking at the North Pole over the last thirty years, it has been growning at the South Pole, all thanks to Global Warming™.

So is Global Warming™ real? You bet your igloo it is! It’s warming up the top of the globe and making all of the icebergs (which are really quite put off by warm weather) move to the bottom of the globe.

Don’t cry for you Argentina? I won’t; the tears would freeze to my cheeks.

Visalia, California: Not for Families

// March 28th, 2008 // 4 Comments » // Editorial

“With its rich culture, prosperous business community, and thriving agricultural industry, you’ll find a family-friendly environment ideal for work or play.” This is what you would read if you visited the homepage for the City of Visalia, California, but don’t believe it for a minute; it’s a lie!

I can’t speak about the agricultural industry, but since the World Ag Expo is held not 5 miles away, I’m sure farmers are doing great; but families aren’t. Here are just a few personal experiences that might mean Visalia is not the best place to be.

About a year ago, just after we moved here, my car started getting hit with eggs. Several times over the course of three or four months the paint on the side of my car would be damaged by some sly prankster. I knew even the most adept police force would have little ability to stop the vandal, so I just ignored it. Eventually, I found out that another neighbor was able to catch the vandal, so the egging stopped. The whole business was annoying, but not life-threatening.

Less than a month ago I received a phone call from my credit card company asking me if I had authorized almost ten charges from gas stations all over town between the hours of 11:00pm and 6:00am. Of course I had not, and soon discovered that my wife’s purse had been stolen from our van parked in the driveway. Her iPod as well as her cell phone was in the van, and the thief used about 100 minutes in cell phone calls throughout the night. T-mobile refused to tell us who the criminal had called, even though it was our phone, but they said the police department would be allowed to have access to those records.

I filed a police report, and I thought it would be an easy case, since all the police would need to do is acquire the phone numbers, call the people that the thief had called, and intimidate them into revealing the thief’s name. However, one month later, I still haven’t received a single call regarding the matter, and I’m sure I never will.

Oh, but it gets better. I started writing this article last night, but was unable to finish it, so I saved it to finish today. A few moments ago my wife informed me that someone had vandalized our car. I went out to check the damage myself, and sure enough, someone had walked by with a can of green spray paint and tagged the side of our car. When I called the police station to file a report, I chose all of the appropriate options and the voice prompt told me I was being transferred to the duty officer. However, after one ring, I was sent right back to the main menu again. I tried this several more times with no luck; each time, instead of the duty officer I ended up back at the main menu. Not only that, but there is a long, annoying message in Spanish that Americans have to sit through before they are even given the prompt choices. And yes, I had to listen to the message each time I was sent back to the main menu. Please enjoy this recording of the department’s telephone system.
visalia_pd

Of course, there are other interesting encounters I’ve had on the roadways of Visalia: I’ve had people give me the finger, get out of their vehicle at a stop light to spit on my car, and a few other delightful treats. So yeah, now you know what kind of “family-friendly environment” Visalia, California really is.

TMZ is Pathetic Television

// March 26th, 2008 // 5 Comments » // Editorial, Reviews

Lame jokes, bias coverage, and uninspired reports, and this only in the first five minutes. Airing on the television network The CW, tabloid video magazine TMZ might first sound like a television version of People Magazine, but this program falls short of even People’s meager standards.

Every night at ten o’clock, bored couch potatoes across the country are engorged in a non-stop moving slideshow of every celebrity who showed their face in public that day, and sometimes even celebrities who didn’t show their faces in public. And as exciting as it might be to see Dustin Hoffman get into an elevator, I can’t help but wonder if my time could have been better spent seeing Tara Reid bending over to pick up change for a parking meter. No-no wait, that was on after Dustin, and I still feel cheated.

The problem with TMZ isn’t really even the abysmal content of the program, rather the fault lies with the obnoxious and incredulous narrator that is enthralled with hateful comments toward each and every celebrity featured on the program, WITHOUT EXCEPTION. This relentless approach to celebrity journalism is an attempt to make the home viewer feel better about their own lives, knowing that the so-called celebrity Kevin Federline was booed at his own birthday party. See, didn’t that make you feel good?

It’s not just washed up B-list actors that TMZ unloads on; for some reason, Miley Cyrus is one of TMZ’s favorite celebrities to pick on. For practically one week straight, TMZ paparazzi followed around the star of Hanna Montana in an attempt to “catch” Miley saying or doing something wrong. But when Miss Cyrus failed to provide riveting footage, TMZ still featured her on their program and made whatever snide little comment they could to make her look bratty.

Viewers shouldn’t expect anything different than this cookie-cutter approach to the reporting of every last minor celebrity spotting that TMZ camera crews are able to record. With generally few interesting events happening in Hollywood from day to day, TMZ’s daily thirty minute program is a veritable pile of table scraps, mostly fatty gristle with the occasional fiber of meat. A weekly edition of TMZ would help to cut away some of the worthless dross that makes up most of the program. But even if this should occur, don’t expect anything other than mindless sensationalism lathered with abusive, unsophisticated commentary deplorably disguised as sarcasm.